Lessons Learned

This morning was like most mornings. I ate breakfast, sat on my bed to write a post, the cat jumped on my chest and with his super comfy power, he made me fall asleep. Between reading other new posts and sleeping, I didn't get into the shower until 9:38. I was supposed to be in the office at 9:30. At 9:22, I decided since I was already late, I could just finish reading this last article and then go shower. Not the right decision.
While I was in the shower, Hubby called. 4 minutes later, he texted:

We need the wet vac from the house to suck out the drain on the ac in the shop... ASAP

Water on the floor

Also, we need a 20 x 20 air filter for it

After I got showered, I got myself together. I was in the middle of getting dressed when I hear the motorcycle pull into the garage. SHIT!!! Shit! Shit! Shit! I ran around like a crazy woman while throwing on whatever I could find so it at least looked like I had been ready and just not left yet. But no...He found me in the closet, throwing my shirt on and looking for my pants. He was not happy. I looked at him with a half sorry look, half nervous smile. He gave me his disappointed look, put the shop vac in the car, and left to deposit a check I was already supposed to have done. Not only was I busted, but he was clearly not happy with me. I texted him after I got into the car:

I'm sorry I missed your call and your texts. I was in the shower. I know that's no excuse as I should've showered earlier. I'm sorry.

And then it happened. I thought I was going to get my computer taken away for a week or maybe a punishment spanking (okay, don't roll your eyes at me), but no. What happened was far, far worse. He texted me:

I'm not upset that you were in the shower and missed the text. You could've missed a text or call for lots of reasons.
I came home with an expectation that I would have to tie the shop vac to the bike, but instead I found you still getting ready. I'm very frustrated right now with the situation you are putting me in. I do not want business matters to get between us because I know that's what killed my parents relationship. I love you and need you.

I was crushed. All I could do is cry. Couldn't I just have a spanking instead? Take away my computer please. His parents were a much different story than us, his father being an a$$hole and yelling at his mother, who in defense, committed fraud amongst other nefarious deeds. This is totally not us. I couldn't believe that he was so disappointed in me that he would bring up his parents.

My wonderful and loving assistant saw that I was upset and comforted me. She reminded me that I've just had a pretty heavy load set on my shoulders and it will take time to get used to it, but until then it's no wonder I drag my butt in late. Who wants to come to a place and be in charge when so many things go wrong at once and so many decisions have to be made and there is a struggle to keep enough of a balance in the bank account to pay employees.

What Hubby has grown from 2 1/2 years ago (which was not much of anything when I handed it to him to concentrate on the graphic arts and marketing of the business) has grown tremendously. While he has had all this time to get used to the weight building on his shoulders, he expects me to just take it and run with it.

We went to lunch to talk about it and he said something that kind of pissed me off. He said that if I'm stressed or having problems I should let him know so he can help me. That is all I've been doing since he got back from Canada. I IM or text him constantly with what's going on in the shop and he just sends me back a smiley emoticon with a half-hearted encouragement like, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

He agreed to listen more closely and help me make the decisions until I can carry the full weight on my own. He also said that when it comes to business, he won't push me to do anything I don't want to do. He would just as soon close the business down and I could get a part time job doing something else. I don't want that.

I promise that from now on I will be to work on time and I will let him know that I need his help instead of just whining about it. Lessons learned.