Monday, August 20, 2012

Type A Does Not Equal Dominant

You know how some things you don't really think about until you realize how obvious it is and then you see you've been completely ignorant? Like the time I realized that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is the same melody as the ABC song (and Bah Bah Black Sheep). I just had another one; Type A personality does not equal a dominant personality. I guess I just assumed they walked hand in hand.

I'm a type B, a follower, submissive. Hubby is a type A, more of a leader than I, neither submissive nor dominant. He sees us as equal. We are equal, and would still be if he decided to be the HoH. Since I know he knows where my blog is but he never reads it, I'll go into a bit more detail.

Hubby's mom raised him and his sister pretty much single-handedly. His father was/is a workaholic and wasn't around as much as he should've been. His mother made the rules, checked to see homework was done, fed and clothed them. She was the matriarch. How do you get a man who's used to having a woman in charge to take charge? Your guess is as good as mine.

He has stepped up a bit. He's giving direction. He's putting his foot down. Maybe he's been that way all along and it took me being more submissive to him to see it? Nah... If he would've done those things before, I think I would've noticed.

(And here I go a-wandering)

In the meantime, I get to live vicariously through you (if you have a blog that I read ---->). I've been trying to read more so I can get a better picture. I think ttwd, if we ever do it, will be different than anything I've read so far. I've never really had an attitude that needed fine tuning. I've always been conscious of my decisions and any consequences. I may be a dreamer, but I'm also a thinker. I don't make any decision without weighing out the pros and cons, and even asking advice. I don't do anything rash. My biggest problem area besides the new rules I suggested (which he has yet to say anything about), is in dealing with our kids. They drive me insane! Don't get me wrong, I love my babies dearly, but the constant bickering, tattling, and outright meanness is going to send me to the looney bin. I think they fight just to get me upset. I've started trying to be more of a referee, but I still get really cranky with them not listening to me. It's like they are trying to make me blow my top before they will put their shoes away or brush their teeth or get dressed. Sheesh!

I guess we all have our trials. If I'm going to get punished for something, it's probably going to be over the kids. And if he ever instates the new rules I suggested, I would probably get in trouble a few times for not managing my time wisely (ex: reading all those blogs I love). Who knows...I may need some attitude adjustments from time to time, probably because I tested my limits. I do test limits. I can't help myself. I'm better with zero tolerance. That would keep me from testing my limits. Well, of course I'd probably test it once. Once would be enough.

(Now I really get sidetracked and start rambling)

I've been spanking-free for a few days. I've got a doctors appointment on Thursday, and I don't want to be asked about bruises. Plus, it's about to be that time of the month. I won't see in action until it's over.

Hubby is watching me expectantly while eating his cereal, in the bedroom. I think I'm supposed to get off the computer now and get ready to go to the office. Fine! (here I go with the attitude!)

To sum up...oh what the hell...I'm a crazy pms lady with no one to talk to and no spanky-treats.'s that?


  1. UGH!! I can so relate...we couldn't do much last week because I was going to the doctors. It was a loooong week. You have my sympathy, empathy, . . . and lots and lots of chocolate!

    1. Mmmm...chocolate! Good idea. Going to the doctor definitely takes the kink out of my life.

  2. I think really, you don't know how ttwd is going to work for you until you really get into it. And even then, I've noticed that things change as we change and grow. Some of the guidelines and struggles I had in the beginning aren't really an issue now. But of course there are other things that I struggle with. Michael has become more confident in his role and is quicker to step up when I need him to do so. He still struggles with leadership at times though, just like I still struggle with submission sometimes.

    Being patient is hard, and if you're like I was at the beginning, you're wanting things to move along more quickly. But as frustrating as it might seem sometimes, going slow has definite benefits and baby steps are a good thing.

    Oh, and I agree with Kate...chocolate, you need chocolate!

    Hang in there!

    1. I'm sure glad chocolate doesn't cure impatience or I would be twice my size. I am starting to learn more every day. But the waiting is killing me. Sigh...