Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Still Waiting

So the bedroom has become a disaster again. Mostly it's clothes that need to be put away, but for whatever reason (cough, cough, laziness), I haven't gotten around to it. The craft area desperately needs organizing. The kitchen counter is covered in letters (mostly bills), magazines, crafts that the kids made, things I've picked up off the table to make room for dinner, toys, etc. Hubby asked me a few times now to gather all the medical bills and give him a list so he can start chipping away at them. There's dusting, sweeping, mopping, laundry, and things to be put away.

Have I lifted a finger? Nope. Why? I have no idea. I'm stuck. This R2 unit has a bad motivator. So what are we going to do about it? Nothing. I will get to it when I get to it if I ever get to it. This has nothing to do with wanting Dd, but there is every reason to start. I am not stubborn because I want to be punished. This is an area in my life that has always existed. I'm a clutter bug. I'm not now, nor have I ever been, a neat freak.

I discovered Dd recently and brought the idea to Hubby (again). I received an outright NO (again). So I wrote the stuff I think needed to be fixed, the list he asked for, and he never responded. While I can get my spanko needs met almost daily to rid myself of stress, I don't get motivation out of it. If I knew that there was a threat of a punishment of some sort unless I started getting things done, you'd better bet I would be making all kinds of changes.

"But wait! Why don't you just do it? Be submissive and act as if these things would be punished if not done." It just doesn't work that way for me. Without external motivation, nothing gets done. It's not because I'm digging my heels in until I get my way. It's just the way I work (or don't in this case). So now what? I wait. I impatiently wait. I agonizingly trudge through every day waiting. I haven't bugged him any more about Dd. I'm just waiting. I hate waiting...


  1. I am fairly new to DD also, lilmisses. I introduced the lifestyle to Blue by actually living as if we already were a DD couple for a good month or so before I ever said a word about it. One night, I asked Blue if he had noticed the change in me and in our relationship. He most definitely had, and then I explained DD as well as I could. He was very interested until I got to the whole punishment part. He found that a big turn off. I just continued living as if anyway. Then, one day I had a major bratty meltdown and asked him to apank me afterwards. I had to ask twice and explain why I felt it would help both of us. Finally, he followed through with one. The benefits to both of us were so immediate and he was hooked.

    Lol, sorry for the long novel on your comment section. I just felt that maybe you could find something useful in there somewhere.

    1. I think that's awesome. I know I should act as if. I just can't seem to manage. My hormones cause me all kinds of grief and I don't manage my time well at all. But I have been working on being kinder and more submissive. I'm hoping this helps.
      Oh and I definitely don't mind long comments at all. (((hugs)))