Talk 'n Tap...sounds like a fun game, right? Yeah...not so much. But it is great connection time.
Hubby and I have had a Sunday night ritual, or at least it's becoming that, where I lay on the bed bared to him and he slides up next to me. He starts rubbing my back and bottom and starts talking about whatever is on his mind. This week it was the church sermon we heard on Sunday. He asked questions. I answered if I could. He started hand-spanking and rubbing. It has become a very nice way of connecting and keeping my attention.
As we continue through the talk, implements, speed, and ferocity change. The dimensions of the "tap" portion vary with the "talk". It comes in waves, with each one being more intense than the last. It's an intimate connection that I couldn't quite name, so Hubby did. He calls it Talk 'n Tap, aptly initialized as TnT. Seems fitting.
I can only best describe it as something like a maintenance/role affirmation/connection/lecture/stress release spanking all rolled into one. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes he doesn't push it because that's not what his aim is. This week he didn't aim for tears, just understanding.Sometimes the way to this girl's heart is through my butt. Yeah..that doesn't sound exactly how I mean it...Umm...moving on...
We both come away from these sessions with new motivation to better our lives. He knows how to wield his words as well as any implement. He asks questions and expects answers. He talks with a stern tone when he gets to the heart of his lecture. Through his words and the pain inflicted, I find a release. My stress melts away. His voice is all that matters. He speaks into the depth of me and I am his and his alone. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. I want only to please him.
This can be a pretty intense session. I love it. I crave it. I need it. I seriously can't wait until Sunday!
Do you have a ritual?
(((hugs)))
Sounds like a nice ritual to connect and prepare for the week ahead. No rituals yet...but hopefully... :-) Hugs, Terps
ReplyDeleteIt started out of nowhere. Before I knew it, we had done it 2 weeks in a row. Then the next weekend we didn't do it and I fell apart. I was an emotional mess. We fought, went our separate ways, and then I emailed him. We came back together. We talked. And I finally let it go. Then I told him a couple days later that our Sunday night ritual didn't happen and that's why the attitude, yelling, crying, fit-throwing episode happened. His response? What Sunday night ritual? Lol...figures.
DeleteI explained it to him and Sunday night, we started again. Now we both know what to expect Sunday nights! ((hugs))
We have a very similar ritual on Saturday evenings. I also love them. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is an amazing time together isn't it?
Delete((hugs))
Super sweet. I wish we had that, but like Terpsichore, hopefully something like that will come...
ReplyDeleteJust read what I replied to Terps and you'll see how it starts.
Delete((hugs))
Hi LM! :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a very nice ritual that you have going! :) I am happy for you!
We don't really have any big rituals per say- not around spanking anyway. Rob will say to me, "Who loves you, Baby?" and he expects a nice clear, "You do!" That can come after a not so good time, or a great one. I love it though.
We also have one where he pours me a glass of wine when he comes home from work. He pours himself a beer or wine, and we clink glasses and kiss and then take a sip. I forget a lot, and take a sip before we do that, but in general, we have always kissed first. He laughs at the frequency of how often I mess up! What can I say? I'm a little scattered at times these days! LOL!
I'm pretty sure that we have other little ones. I'll have to think about it! Fun! Hugs to you, LM!
<3 Katie
MMmm...wine and kisses! That's a good one. ((hugs))
DeleteWe do nightly devotions now. Usually he comes in and I already have the light off to go to sleep. :) I don't really intend to go to sleep, but I think it's that part of me likes him coming in, turning the lights back on and telling me that "We are doing them." He didn't want to do them for so many years, that I'm liking the change. We're at week six in them now. :) The other is that we have maintenance every Saturday now. It changes days based on our schedule at times. But it's not like your Talk N Tap, I have to tell him about that! :) Sounds like a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have to tell Hubby about the nightly devotions. I think he'd really like that.
Delete((hugs))
It has been really good for us to do them. Even on a busy day when we haven't gotten time to really talk, which thankfully doesn't happen often, but when it does, we still have this to remind us to spend time together every single day. :) And doing it with God makes it all the more special. :)
DeleteAlec and I do a devotional every night as well. In fact, we've been doing it now for 4 years. We then talk a bit about our day. He then prays for me and for our family. There's something so sweet about sharing those moments that are reserved just for us.
ReplyDeleteThat is such an awesome thing! I already talked to Hubby about it. There are plenty of free devotionals in our Bible app that we can start with. Do you have a favorite? Do you just pick something each night or do you have a plan?
Delete((hugs))
I love this! What a great time of reconnection! I have never had a desire for a regular weekly maintenance or role affirmation...but this..this is something I can see as very beneficial... Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteIt's different. That's why I had such a difficult time even describing it. But from now on we'll just call it TnT and be good with it. I hope you get to try it! ((hugs))
DeleteWe have a long standing ritual, a little nightly meeting when we get into bed. We were very diligent about it at first, but now if one or the other of us is in bed first, it is not considered a tragedy if we miss a night - unless, of course, there have been problems through the day that could not be dealt with, for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteIn those cases, Ian uses that time to talk, talk, talk about the issue.
Glad your ritual is working so positively.
hugs
lillie
Lol. You've mentioned that Ian is the great pontificator. Do you find your ritual helpful?
DeleteIt does seem that Hubby has found his lecturing legs and can talk quite a bit about points he wishes me to understand. I really like it though. I find it comforting. Well...that is until he brings out the closer. That's not comforting at all.
(((hugs))) and love my friend!
We have quite a few rituals, and maintenance is one of them. It does vary, depending on how much I might be resisting it. Often he ends by praying for us as he holds my hands.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice post. It's wonderful that you look forward to it.
Praying is wonderful! I may talk to Hubby about doing that too. ((hugs))
DeleteHey LM, TnT, I love it. It took my guy some time to come around to the idea of any form of maintenance/role affirmation. We started having regular discussions about our relationship, roles etc and if there had been any issues that hadn't been dealt with he would spank but if there hadn't been any issues he wouldn't. We found these sessions really beneficial and they connected us.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while he got his head around the idea of spanking for role affirmation which we do now, however, it's not regular. Just as an when he feels it is needed.
Hugs,
Roz
I know I need it once a week at the very least. Nightly would be better for me but I trust Hubby. He knows what he's doing. Soon he will get a sense of when I need it. Our HoH's do get in a groove after a while don't they?
Delete((hugs))
We do and I admit that I need it a couple times a week but I sure don't like it. We talk before and after but not so much during, especially for maintenance type spankings. It's good for my heart though and I come out of it feeling very much like you do.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind it so much. But then I'm a born spanko. It sure does wonders for our hearts though!
Delete((hugs))
This is a beautiful post, LM. I fully understand those feelings of connection. I'm not sure if we have rituals, per se, but we have rituals around the way we do things, which I guess makes them rituals, doesn't it? lol.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, one of our favorite positions is a side-by-side, which I didn't think I would like at first because I didn't think there would be contact. But there is, he has his arm over my back and against my side, and I am against his side, it's like a lovely little cocoon. Then he can pause and lay beside me, rubbing my back & bottom as you described, and talk. When he is spanking and it builds, he slides his hand down near mine and reminds me he's right there and that his hand is there for me to take. I love that part, because it is a reminder that no matter how hard things get, he is right beside me take my hand so we can get through together.
It's kind of funny, but I guess there are all kinds of little rituals we all have, even in the most inconspicuous of acts.
(((hugs)))
That is very true! Rituals aren't just a time, but can be instances during an act as well. It's very reassuring. I know when Hubby is by my side, the spanking is not for punishment but for clarity. I think if he had me bend over the bed, my feelings would be quite different.
ReplyDeleteI love this thing we do!
(((hugs)))
I love it when Wes talks to me as he spanks. It really helps me to focus.
ReplyDeleteBea
It works wonders, doesn't it? Without Hubby's words to ground me, I would be lost in the abyss of pain. No words, no focus.
Delete((hugs))
This sounds lovely. When we first started our weekly maintenance et al, I wondered how it would work, but it has now become something that we look forward to. The couple of days before a maintenance I start to get very antsy and snarky. It's good knowing he will take care of me and put everything back to normal again. He rarely 'lectures' because I would just turn off - he talks, and we discuss things, have lots of laughs too! Never tried it side by side and I don't quite know how that would work? I always go OTK or OTL, mainly for two reasons, to keep contact, and for ease of spanking. The one attempt over the footboard of the bed felt like it was breaking my ribs so was abandoned.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, glad to know you are doing well.
Hugs
Ami
I would do OTK if I were skinny enough. Soon. I hope.
Delete((hugs))
This was a great post (as most of yours are). ;)
ReplyDeleteAwww. Thanks Betsy! (((hugs)))
Delete