First, I would like to apologize to Hubby. I am so sorry I have been impatient and disrespectful. I have completely lacked the understanding of your situation. You are right. You've spent all these years thinking one way and I need to give you more than just a couple days to change that thinking. You are a bright and determined and helpful man. I need to be patient and respectful. I need to not call you out in public. I need to not accuse you of things that aren't true. I am truly sorry for my behavior. I will talk to you about problems first. I will not bring them up to others until I do so. I know now that not only do you read the links I send you, but you read my blog as well. I am sorry I accused you otherwise. I didn't know and I should've asked first. I haven't been the submissive wife I should be and I will make an effort to change that, just as you are making efforts to be the HoH. I am sorry I was defiant. I am sorry I was disobedient. I am sorry I was disrespectful. I am sorry I distanced myself. I am grateful you can see the changes in me as I work to better myself. As I said, I don't know who this person is that I am now, but she's better than I used to be before I started making these changes. I love you so much. Thank you for your understanding and for calling me out. Thank you for not settling for "I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone." You stood your ground and made me talk to you instead letting me shut down and clam up for a week. You held me as I cried and cried and cried. You are amazing and I am sorry if I lead anyone to think otherwise.
Second, I would like to apologize to all of my readers. I was wrong. Hubby said that you all gave me very good advice. He thinks I have very good friends here and he doesn't want me to sever these connections. He does, however want me to take 3-4 days off from blogging and reading blogs to focus on what is important. He told me my blog title should be "Taking a Cruise" because I would be gone from here that long. I also apologize for anything I said that might have lead you to believe that my husband is something other than the wonderful man that he is. I am the one at fault here. He was even so gracious as to not be angry with me for the things I accused him of. He is so loving and I have no excuse for my behavior. I am so sorry for the things I said and for leading you to believe he is anything less that the wonderful husband he has always been. From my previous words, you would never know what an amazing man he is and how loving and patient he has been with me through all these years. You, my sisters, have given me such great advice and I have been a fool not to heed it. I am so sorry. My heart is breaking at the knowledge that I have been so horrible. I will spend my "cruise" thinking about how I can be a better wife, and a better "sister".
Believe me when I tell you that I am hormonal, over-reactive, and completely selfish. My husband tells me that I need to learn to forgive myself. He is right. I continually beat myself up over how I'm not good enough and wallow in my self pity, instead of trying to be a better person. We are working on this together. We are partners in this. I need not go it alone. And he needs to be able to count on me too.
Sisters and friends, I will see you when I get back from my "cruise" and I will hopefully be a better person for it. (((hugs)))
PS> Feel free to leave a comment. I will read them in my email and will get back to you after my short hiatus.