The first thing I did was to close my laptop. Without it, I don't blog. And I can't blog from my phone. The second thing I did was to get out of my room. That is where I do most of my blogging, only because my poor MacBook is so old that the battery no longer charges, so where it's plugged in is where it stays, and it's safest in my room. The third thing I did was sleep. Okay, so sleeping is technically in my room, but I was sick. The cold I had turned out to be a whopper. I just got over most of it yesterday.
Hubby and I talked a lot. I realized that even when I think I'm being patient, I'm not really. Hubby called it Dog Years. 1 day to me feels like 3 weeks already, are we there yet?!?!?! I feel like I have no concept of time anymore. I guess when I want something, I want it now and I've been about as patient as I'm going to get. Plus, ever since I started going to therapy, it feels like we picked off an emotional scab and everything is raw underneath. My stress, anger, hurt, guilt...it's all there at the surface. It's all fresh again. And I grapple with it like a child. I ball up my fists and punch my pillow and cry that it's not fair. The only way to the other side is through it. It's hard work. So yeah, patience is not my friend right now.
Last night we discussed my blogging privileges. Hubby has decreed that once a month, and not during that time of the month, I will take a "cruise" for at least 2 days. I am not to blog in the morning unless I get up before the alarm, in which case I can blog until the alarm goes off. I don't know about you guys, but I'm not getting up before 6:30 am to blog. This girl needs her sleep! I may not blog during work hours. I didn't anyway, but this was a point made clear during the discussion. I may blog in the afternoons, as long as I am not spending the entire afternoon doing it. The kids still need to get homework done, dinner needs to be figured out, and there are chores that refuse to do themselves. I am not to live in blogland. I get that. I'm okay with it. I know I can't let it consume me anymore.
But seriously? The day my cruise started, I was emailed this Groupon offer and I couldn't tell you all about it. It's been driving me crazy. So I finally get to share it with you. Are you ready for this?
You know how we see DD references everywhere?
What's worse? I've seen them driving down the street I live off of. I can't help but giggle!
((Hugs)) everyone!
Welcome back Lil Misses!! We did miss you! I'm glad you are feeling better and getting over your cold. It sounds like you and your hubby had some great talks. I don't blame you one bit for not getting up early to blog. :).
ReplyDeleteI will be looking forward to hearing more from you!
Hey! I still don't know what to call you...
DeleteThanks for the warm welcome. I am feeling much better. We had some good talks and good everything else. I think that's why he wants to do this once a month from now on.
LOL. For some reason my iPad does some funny contraction thing. It's supposed to say 'He's the boss'. Not that whole ' thingy.
DeleteSo do you want me to call you He's the Boss? Or shall I call you HTB? Or Behaver? Charlie? lol...
DeleteGreat to have you back. Sometimes we need to check into real life. Your husband seems to understand what you need and clearly had a plan. Maybe not on your timetable...but it was there.So happy things are working out.
ReplyDeleteHi Minelle! I know...It always boils down to patience, right?
DeleteHi Lil Misses. I just wanted to let you know that for some reason your new post is not updating on my blog list. It still shows the 3-4day cruise as the newest post. I don't know if it is just my blog or if it is happening on everyone's blog. I just didn't want you to think no one was commenting on your new post. They may not know you are done cruising. :)
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific weekend!!
I have no idea...hmmm... Well, maybe Google thought I was still on my cruise? lol
DeleteGlad that you got your priorities and attitude sorted out. Appreciation and patience and respectful attitudes are timeless qualities that always deserve our cultivation. The more we work at them, the more we learn to appreciate and be patient. Keep at it! Even if it no longer seems to be as "right" as it is now (after the benefit of a good clearing of the air), come back to this post and re-read it to yourself. You might even like to write out something for your husband to remind both of you of the promises you've made.
ReplyDeleteYou might not see it right away, but little by little you will begin to reap rewards.
Submission starts from within.
I find that even though you can be naturally submissive, it doesn't mean that you are completely. I suppose there are levels of submission, just like everything else. The level we need much depends on our dominant half and what their expectations are. Then we should take it a 1/2 step further. I am far from there, even with my tendencies. Learning is a process.
DeleteI think you are on to something with the rereading suggestion. So smart! ((hugs))
I know what you mean. I just noted on another blog that sometimes we feel so comfy here that we just tend to get wrapped up and suddenly its been an hour or more. When I first started to blog I literally was on the computer every single day for hours. I've backed up a bit but I just like the ability to be myself and spend time with such awesome people. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Adaline! It's so easy to get wrapped up, isn't it? I can't believe how much time goes by when I'm reading. It doesn't help that I am a slow reader. I like to feel the emotions that the writer is trying to convey so I can better appreciate their situation. And of course it takes me a million years to come up with something intelligent to say in the comments. I'm much better in person.
DeleteI agree that this community has opened the possibility for me to be accepted as myself, and that everyone else is just wonderful. I feel like we are somehow all sisters. There is so much love and good advice here. Sigh...
Hello lilmisses,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your blog and thanks for visiting mine. I read through your last few post. I remember feeling so impatient and frustrated in the begining, and also thinking TTWD is TTWDD as well. All of this world can be so all consuming and exciting, especially in the begining. It is important, though hard I know, to take little breaks.
I look forward to reading more.
Hi Serenity! Thanks for coming by. I'm working on the patient thing. That's the worst part...
DeleteI totally missed this post. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you back. You sound good and the boundaries sound even better.
You'll laugh, but I do all my blogging between 5:30 and 7:30 am. It works.
I think that's what it's going to come down to for me too. I have to go to bed earlier...
DeleteOkay, I had time before I had to rush away to a real life meeting....
ReplyDeleteI think your hubby is very wise. Ian has been so supportive because I have issues with excessive energy that get me into scads of trouble.......but, I can see the wheels turning in his HoH brain. I know the day is coming when he starts to lay down some rules associated with blogging......until then I am going to blog up a storm. wahahahaaaaa
You sound great and hubby is really a great guy :) I like him tremendously (in reference to your recent post) but you're right I have never met him and I like him. :)
Lol Lillie! Was that an maniacal laugh I just read? Hehehehe. It's hard not to like Hubby. Sometimes I just want to smack him. How could he possibly be that smart and wise and nice? At least he's humble about it...
DeleteHey! Some how I missed this one...so glad you had such a productive break. It sounds like you had some good talks...as well as good "talks" ;) and the boundaries you agreed upon are really sensible too. All steps in the right direction!! Dogs Years? lol Patience is one of the hardest parts in my opinion.
ReplyDelete