A Helpful Website...
http://www.takeninhand.com/Without too much explanation outside of this email, and my excitement brewing, I kind of threw him in the deep end. Not smart. He came home and said that the whole thing sounded like something he doesn't want to take part in (which you can read about here). It was really a no-go for him and a huge disappointment for me. And then I decided to tell him what I wanted. Something not so scary. My email went like this:
Articles of interest:
http://www.takeninhand.com/the.subjection.of.women (I don't agree with
all of it, but for the most part it's dead on)
I am writing to you to explain what Taken In Hand means to me. It seems you were rather upset after reading some of the the information I sent you and I feel the need to clarify. I do not agree with everything in those articles either, but I would like to show you what I do like.
The woman is unlikely to identify with the word “submissive”, and especially at the beginning of the relationship may need to be thoroughly conquered. The man wears the trousers but he puts the relationship and his wife first. His control is active and ongoing rather than passive or a one-off. - I of course do not thing of myself as submissive, although I do have tendencies. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized that every time I let you have your way, was supportive, and put your needs first, I was being submissive. Who knew? As far as conquering goes, I see it more like this explanation: The force required in the subjection of women is not necessarily physical at all, but psychological: force of will. It might just involve a kindly quiet word here or a little firmness there. It can happen when a man merely looks at a woman, piercing her eyes with his until she is too flustered to hold his gaze. - It could also happen when you wrap your arms around me from behind and hold me, swiftly move my hair and forcefully bite at my neck, take my hand as we walk, lead me in a dance in the middle of the grocery store, face me and tilt my head up and then kiss me passionately...It's all these things and more. So stare me down and melt me. This is what I want. It's what I need.
And as far as taking control, you did it this morning. When you said it was time to get up, I asked why and you said because I need to get up with you. I didn't argue, I just did as you said. I really liked it. I need to follow you, but I can't do so if you won't lead. And really that's what I've been missing. I didn't have it when I was growing up (by no means do I want you to act as my "daddy" eww), I didn't have it in my young adulthood, and I haven't had it in our marriage. I feel empowered by leadership. As I've always claimed, I'm a type B+ kinda girl. But I'm still just a girl.
Do you think this is something we can work on? I really don't expect results overnight. I know it's a process. But to me, this is taken in hand. It's you leading and me following. It's you being strong and me leaning on your strength. It's about me feeling loved because you care enough to guide me. I know it all sounds selfish but I'm hoping you benefit from it as well.
What say you?
All my love,
Your ever adoring wife who really wants to suck on you like a lollipop right now...
Thank you.... :) I think I'm starting to understand.
Your ever loving lollipop
I think that says something about the power of communication. It's a great thing!
Tomorrow, Grandma is taking the kids overnight. We get to have a date night and the house to ourselves. This is a "vacation" night so I decided to write the scene a bit. This is what I emailed Hubby:
Barring any badness (as in the kids getting ill), I would like tomorrow to go like this:
In the AM, make sure to remind me of what's to come later. Grabbing of the hair while whispering to me would be a very nice touch.
Touching of my bottom throughout the day, especially during our date as a gentle reminder is also very nice.
When it comes to spanky-treat time, the phrase "bend over" is highly erotic. If I feel the urge to resist at all, a stern look is all that is required. Over you lap would be nice but considering my current girth, over the bed is okay too. Feel free to get creative.
Please start with your hand as a warmup. It was suggested that if you cup your hand in a relaxed position instead of flat like a paddle it might not hurt you so much. Also, rubbing after a volley of swats sounds nice. While your rubbing, you could finger me and/or rub my clit.
Proceed with the bamboo spatula. I think it will sting like the dickens. Make sure to spend just as much time fingering/rubbing as you do spanking as I may need a breather every once in a while.
Paddle with the hairbrush if I need more spanking.
I want to feel like it's at your whim (even though I'm detailing the scene). My body is yours. Touch me wherever you want. I really mean that. Feel free to tell me what you want done to you. I want to be thoroughly exhausted by the time we're done. I want to scream a lot.
Speaking of screaming, I may say "Ow" or moan or yelp while you're spanking me. It doesn't mean I want you to stop. If you feel uncomfortable, just ask me what the number is (1-10) and I'll tell you. Also we still have the safe word.
What say you?
You know how I have this fantasy about what Hubby will do to me when he finally does spank me for real? Well, this is as good as it's going to get. He won't punish me for real because he feels that's stepping waaaaaay over the line. But we do get to "vacation" a couple times a month if I want and that will have to do. I'm good with it. I'm just grateful he does this much for me. He really does love me!