Friday, July 6, 2012
I just revealed myself to my husband of almost 10 years that I am indeed a spanking fetishist. I didn't know until recently that that was the official title. I've been this way as long as I can remember. I've been seeing a therapist for a variety of reasons and when the topic of sex came up she assured me that my needs were valid and normal. The popularity of the 50 Shades series didn't hurt either when it came to my decision to out myself. Since my confession on Tuesday, I have been doing an enormous amount of research. Finding out who I am and what I like has been extremely freeing but explaining it to my VERY vanilla husband has been difficult at best. He has been vey patient and willing to participate to the best of his ability. He's not very dominant and he hates the idea of causing me pain. He finds the whole thing strange but he loves me so he's willing to give it a go just to make me happy. While spanking is new and exciting in our sexual relationship, I'm finding that I suddenly need more. The idea of stress release spanking appeals to me very much but I don't think my husband would never agree to it. As it is, he's only just tolerant of spanking in the guise of sexual pleasure. We've only been at this for 2 nights. The first night he used his hand and not for very long because it hurt him. I bought a paddle hair brush yesterday for use last night. Since we are spanking by candlelight, he could see the red glow of my cheeks and was a bit worried. Well this morning I have bruises. I have to hide them because I am sure he wouldn't agree to ever spank me again. BTW, how long does it take for bruising to fade? The spanking wasn't near long or hard enough. And I need more. So much more. I'm not sure how to get him to cooperate. And I don't want to be frustrated anymore. What should I do? Also, I'm very excited about this whole thing and I don't have anyone I can talk to. I feel like a desperately excited puppy. Ack!