Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Someone Else's Kids + Download


Yesterday was a pretty bad day. It started out okay from what I remember  I was pretty excited because we just had a business meeting, and while I was still unsure of where I was going with it, I still got some really good advice.

Since the lunch meeting was concluded by 1:10, I knew I would be early to my 2pm therapist appointment. This would be the first time ever I would be early/on time! I was jazzed. But then it happened...

The railroad crossing lights started flashing. Some cars sped up, some slowed. I, who am used to being late, forgot that I had plenty of time to spare and flipped over into aggressive driver mode.

I assumed the woman in front of me was going to punch it, and in preparation for that move, I too started to accelerate with a quickness. She stopped short. I slammed on my breaks, but it was too late. I slammed into her. And lest I neglect to mention it, I had my phone in my hand at the time of the accident.

I was not texting. I was trying to call a company and couldn't figure out why I was getting this weird message. I think that at the split second that I had to react to impending collision, I was lost in a thought while looking at my phone. Now, before you start yelling at me, just know that I have been properly chastised by many in the ttwd community already. Read the rest of the post, and you will see why this will NEVER EVER happen again.

Her Car

My car (after I put the center pieces back in)
As you can see by the pics, the damage was minimal. My van was more damaged than her car. A little trading of paint. I have a few cracks in the bumper. Did I mention she was driving a brand new 2013 Mercedes? Yeah... I am not sure I could've hit a more expensive car.

She was so sweet about the whole thing. Both of us were shook up. We ended up hugging. I felt so bad. She knew she stopped short. I knew I was following too close. I didn't mention the phone. I did get a ticket for careless driving. In order to keep the points off my record, I have to do a 4 hour online class. I've done this class before, and let me tell you, it is painful. They have a timer, so you can't just test and get it over with. You have to sit at your computer for 4 full hours. The last time I got a ticket, it was for speeding, and I think the cop was full of it but there's no fighting the cops in our town. They get paid overtime to show up to court and it's always their word against ours. Thankfully, this accident happened a few towns over and the cop was really nice.

You would think that the accident would've been enough to make me never want that stupid phone in my hand while driving again, but no. I didn't think twice when texting someone later on. It's become such a habit, that who knows how much time I spend on my phone while driving. But it didn't seem to matter to me, and that really bothered me.

Hubby hinted at a spanking later, but he wasn't really serious. When I spoke with him about the situation, he said that the same thing could've happened to him. He wasn't so happy to hear that the incident didn't change my behavior. I felt guilty as hell. As we spoke, I could feel the weight of my errors crushing me. I started to cry. I told him I felt really guilty about it and he offered to help me with a spanking. I agreed.

He started with the cane, which really surprised me, but this was serious spanking. He lectured me on how he needed me and the kids needed me. He couldn't lose me over something as stupid as a phone. He switched to the "closer" and said the one thing that made it all clear to me, "What if it were someone else's kids you killed because you were being careless?" I completely lost it. My life doesn't mean as much as it should to me. But to kill someone else's kids? Because I wanted to check my email? That was the clencher. And that is why I will NEVER EVER do it again. The spanking hurt. The words hurt worse.

My phone now has a designated cubby in the car where it will be the entire time I am driving. If I need to look at something, check for directions, make a phone call, or text someone, I can pull over and get my phone out. There are plenty of parking lots around and no excuses.

Furthermore, I made a lock-screen wallpaper for my phone. Any time I push a button to wake it up, the picture there is enough to catch my attention. I am sharing it with you so if you would like, you can use it on your phone. I can alter it for you if you would like, just email me. Here's how it looks on my phone:


And here is the pic you can copy for yours:

distracted driving iphone wallpaper


Please trust me that this will never happen again. I am so sorry about it. And I have paid, and will continue to pay for a while to come, the price for my poor decisions. I will never do it again. And I hope that if you have this habit, that you will take into consideration what is at stake here. It's not just your life, or the lives of your family, but other's too. If that lady didn't have her foot on the brake, I could've pushed her into the path of an oncoming train. I know this. My eyes are open, and from now on, they are on the road, not on my stupid phone.

And if for some reason I backslide, my phone will be taken away from me and replaced with a flip phone that has no access to anything. But trust me, this won't happen. My phone will always remind me that it's a bad idea.

Please be kind in your comments. I'm already sorry.

(((hugs)))

19 comments:

  1. Oh shoot...you've succeeded in making me feel guilty about my phone in the car habits... Ok, I will have a designated place where the phone must stay too. Thanks for opening my eyes to a real danger.

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    1. Know what the difference between knowledge and wisdom is? Knowledge is learning from your own mistakes. Wisdom is learning from someone else's.
      ((Hugs))

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  2. OMG! LM! I am so happy you are okay! And no one was hurt! I am kinda glad your man spanked, I mean, if you are like me - it will make you think really seriously at the next railroad crossing. That sounds means - sorry, but it is really dangerous to take chances driving.
    I do it sometimes, and always know it is a bad move, but get lucky. One of these times, something terrible could happen.
    The good thing is - nothing bad happened and you know how much your hubby loves and cherishes you.
    hugs and love
    lillie

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    1. I have to drive that same route almost every day this week. I know I'm gonna cringe every time I cross those tracks.
      Hubby wasn't going to spank but he saw that I needed it. Boy did I cry a lot! By the end I was in hysterics. He is a natural with the lecturing now, like he's been doing it his whole life. And his words can cut deep. He of course is never mean. He speaks truth to me and I listen. And he's so right. The changes he's making are amazing. He's turning out to be quite the HoH! Of course, there is still the matter of him taking on his role fully and me getting a spanking I didn't ask for and then there's no going back.
      I think I will try to stay out of trouble! (((hugs)))

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  3. LM, I am so guilty of this. I never text (because I can't see it with my sunglasses on) but I do make calls and receive them. I really have considered looking for an app that will send a message that I am driving to anyone that calls and text me when I activate it in the car. If there isn't one already someone needs to create one. (the only # you can call while driving would be 911.)

    I'm so glad you are okay. ;)
    Betsy

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    1. I think that something is probably in the works for all smart phones in the future. I know that Sprint has an app, for an added fee, that does keeps the driver from doing anything but call 911. It blocks all alerts for all apps so you wouldn't know if someone called or texted or anything else. It detects when the car is motion. I can see that becoming a standard feature in the future. http://www.sprint.com/landings/focusondriving/index.html ((hugs))

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  4. Hey LM, I am so sorry to hear about the accident and am so relieved that everyone was OK and nobody was hurt.

    Thank you for posting this, it is such a good message and the cell wallpaper is a great idea! We often don't think about the risk we are taking, and that the risk is not only to us, but to others as well.

    Good on you for telling your husband about your guilt and for accepting the spanking. It can't have been easy to do.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Honestly Roz, I deserved more of a spanking than I got. But he did it to help release the guilt and not as a punishment. It's much easier to take when you know you've earned it. He complemented me on getting better at holding still. Really it was because I was not going to fight it. I needed it and I knew it. I will not get spanked for it again because it will not happen again. Lesson learned!
      (((hugs)))

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  5. Well maybe it was 'Divine intervention'- a small accident to make you see the errors of your ways.

    Happy to hear that your husband has the lecturing down pat. Anyone can wail away, but once the sting leaves the bum, what do you have to recall? The words are what is important here.

    love, willie

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    1. I think so too willie. I'm very blessed it wasn't worse. The lady got out of her car and she was nothing but gracious. If I were her, I would've been irate. I think that made the whole thing harder because I had no one to blame except myself.
      Hubby's words stung more than the paddle, that's for sure. And they are still with me now. The paddle just helped drive it home. Ouch...
      (((hugs)))

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  6. Thanks LM, This post is a great reminder that everyone should be looking at the road and not their phones. It is easy to be distracted by a text or call, everyone is curious to know what the other person wants. It's human nature.

    I glad that no one was hurt and that you have learned from this. Many people don't learn until it is too late.

    ((Hugs))
    Jane

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    1. Thank you Jane. I wish I would've heeded others' words when they kept saying to not drive distracted. Instead I thought to myself, this doesn't apply to me because I'm a really good driver and I've only ever been in one accident and it wasn't my fault, it was a hit & run. The reality is that it could and eventually will happen to you if you decide not to listen to what others have learned.
      I just hope my words are taken seriously by those who read them. It's so important to not drive distracted and I KNOW that now.
      ((hugs))

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  7. Hanging my head in shame. This is a horrible thing I do and cannot imagine what would happen if he found out. It's an addiction, I admit it. And every stop light is one of the few times uninterrupted for 30 seconds. I'm much better with my kids in the car. But gosh, the thought of killing somebody else's kid. I couldn't go on. Your words have hit me in a way no other warning ever has. Because I'm the ultimate multitasker, those warnings were for everybody else. When I'm done with this appointment, I'm going to find a good spot for the phone and it will live there when I drive. Every single time. Never again will I pick it up on the road.

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  8. This post was very touching. I am glad that you are okay, the woman is okay, and no children were involved. ((hugs))

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  9. Hi LM, :)

    I'm sorry that you got your spanking, but glad that you got your spanking! So many many people mess with their phones while they are driving, and the end result can be so awful! These people might as well be driving drunk because that is how they often appear to be driving when they are texting, etc.

    We tell our kids to leave their phones down when they are driving, and we also tell them not to mess with the radio while they are driving. Anything that takes their eyes off the road... Unfortunately, even if they do all the right stuff, there are plenty of people out there who are still doing the wrong stuff, and I hope that none of us meet up with one of them in a bad way!

    Good for you for making changes LM! :) I really like your lock screen! :) It's a great idea! I am glad that you were not hurt in your accident! hugs and love,

    <3 Katie

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  10. Thanks Katie. I'm glad I got spanked for it too. It was by no means fun, but he had my full attention. And you are right. I may as well have been driving drunk. I've caught myself weaving before and thinking that I need to focus on driving. But I kept doing it anyway. From now on, I will not be another hazard on the road.
    (((hugs)))

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  11. Experiences like this are so tough and so exhausting - but all worth it when we can see the value of changing something that needs to be changed. So glad it's over, so glad no one was hurt, so glad that the other driver was gracious & that the cop was nice, and so glad that your husband loves you enough to help you deal with your feelings of guilt. I think you were blessed that day, and I hope that your tomorrows are all the sweeter for what you went through.

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