Pretty simple, huh? Eh...
Yesterday I texted Hubby with this request:
Need a reassurance/reminder spanking. Reminder that you are in charge and will protect me. Reassurance that everything will be okay and about how you feel about me.Well, the spanking did happen. It was hard. It was intense at times. What it was not was a whole lot of talking. He did say things like, "I'm so glad you are not trying to control everything anymore," and "I will always be here for you. I will always protect you." But it was a few words between volleys of swats. It didn't do for me what I needed it to and I'm not sure if it was because I went into it with a certain expectation that I was going to be put into that head-space.
It is possible that my expectation was that lecturing comes naturally to men. My dad lectured me nonstop when I was a kid and he still tries to. Hubby is still very new to HoHing and, while lecturing the kids is easy enough, lecturing his wife is quite another. He doesn't want to treat me like a child. But I think that lecturing is a matter of intent, not age.
I cannot tell him how to lecture. That is not something that comes easily to me either. I'm a thinker, a writer, a "Why didn't I think to say that?"-er. I spend a lot of time gauging the possible/probable reaction to what I say because I worry about the consequences. Thankfully, lecturing is not expected of me.
So Hubby needs help. He won't research it on his own, so I will have to read to him whatever we are advised. Any help you could offer would be great. I think we both need to get into that space where spanking makes a difference.