Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Gentle Reminder

Woah....So many things have changed since my last post on, what was it? Saturday? Goodness!

Hubby is home!!! He arrived early Sunday morning just after 1 am. We were up until 2, just holding and hugging and being glad to finally be home together. Sunday morning, I had to get up stupid early to sing at church. I got home at 12:30 just in time for Hubby to take the kids to the park so I could get a nap in. In my post nap blurriness, the rest of the afternoon flew by, not that there was much of it left.

Not much happened Sunday evening. I think we were too tired to do anything. This left me feeling that we weren't going to reconnect. And in my childish, impatient way, that meant it was NEVER going to happen. I'm such a baby sometimes! But I looked forward to Monday morning because I had set aside time for us to be together after the kids were at school. I figured that anything we were going to do to reconnect could be taken care of before 10 am. Hubby had other plans. He was still in work mode. Our time together was short and unfulfilled for me. He however had a good time.

Now, this is not to say that he is selfish, because he typically is not. And he noticed something wrong with me while I was getting ready for work, but I kept denying lying about it. He asked me one last time and in mid-lie I fessed up. I told him how I was feeling like we weren't reconnecting and I needed to feel that way so badly. I cried and he apologized. See? Really he is a very good guy. He said that even he sometimes needs a swift kick in the behind.

I went to a concert later that evening before it started I sent him an email telling him that I don't mean to step on his HoH toes, but I have needs and I need him to take care of them. One of those needs is to be corrected when I do something wrong. When he got home, I thought he would "correct" me for my wrongdoings while he was away. It's not that I was itching for a spanking, but I needed to know that he cared about me making the right decisions. Of course I would avoid a punishment spanking. But I'm submissive by nature. So I had the expectation that he would make things right when he got home. But he didn't.

When I got home from the concert, we had some amazing sex (sorry honey, love-making). It was new, exciting, and way yummy. But he didn't say anything about my email. Nothing was addressed. I felt like he was pretending it didn't exist. I was mad. We hadn't reconnected in the way that I needed. I was being childish and impatient and I knew it. But some things you just can't help, right? Oh whatever...At least I didn't blog about it in the heat of the moment.

Monday morning was met with an unscheduled meeting followed by a scheduled one. I didn't like either of them. I keep repeating in my mind that I am failing at this business thing. Now before any of you jump on my case, I have already been told several times by a fellow blogger that my words are powerful and need to watch what I say/write. I do not feel now like I'm a failure. But I did yesterday. I asked Hubby to take lunch with me so we can talk about it. I found talking to him helped a lot but I still had unresolved issues and he knew it.

He brought up the email. He said that he didn't want to "correct" me for those behaviors because of the time that had elapsed since then. He would rather be more immediate, or as much as circumstances afford at the time. I complete understood his point. But he did agree to help me relieve 2 weeks worth of stress plus a little motivation in the realms of communication and organization (my new best friend. Ha!). It was one whopper of a whoopin'. I was bright red and stingy and sore. But I was reconnected fully and lectured and motivated.

Not that any of that kept me from a "gentle reminder" later that evening. I wasn't listening exactly when Hubby was lecturing about organization. I heard the word but not the instructions. So later that evening when he asked me what I had organized, I looked at him and said "Huh?" Yeah, listening might be helpful if I want to avoid reminders.

Tonight I got another reminder...not so gentle, on the bare, with the evil hairbrush. I didn't get anything organized and it's completely my fault. I have terrible time management skills. Okay, I have none. It's going to get me into more trouble than I care to think about. You may have trouble with submitting? I have trouble with time management and organization (cleaning). We all have our weaknesses and our HoH's are more that willing to be all HoH-ey about it. Mine is wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He does listen to me and we do talk about everything and I trust him to do what is in my best interest. I hope you feel the same about yours. I believe that's what it's all about.

Now does anyone have any tips for remembering what I'm told during a spanking?

17 comments:

  1. Remember what was said DURING a spanking LM? I was lucky if I understood that he was speaking english! If you remember short term, you might want to make notes afterwards or you could *cringe* ask him to recap the points afterwards.

    Good Luck and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Yeah, I'm thinking a post-spanking review is in order.

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  2. Wow indeed! Many things have definitely happened since your last post. ( Oh sorry, it is me *C. I decided to start 'blogging' so I had to come up with a name- It is all explained in the old blog).

    So it sounds like your husband is moving in the direction that you have wanted. Once again you give me hope.
    I hope your new life continues to help you grow the way you hope it will!<- Holy smokes that a lot of 'hopes' lol.

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    1. Hope is a good thing C! I'm so glad you are blogging. I read all your posts and I'm soooo happy for you!

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  3. Ha! Not a single tip lilmisses. Sorry! I will agree to and say almost anything at a certain point in order to make it stop. My guy has learned to have a discussion with me afterwards in order to make sure I know what I said. :)

    Glad you got reconnected.

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    1. Susie, I think you're right. I need to have a discussion afterwards. Otherwise I will just end up in more trouble later. Ack!

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  4. I forgot to add..sorry. Has anybody told you about FlyLady? I have a couple friends that use her website/tools to help them "organize."

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    1. I did hear about FlyLady, but I'm hopelessly lazy. I think if Hubby held me accountable, I would probably not fail so much. Hmmm...Do I want more spankings...

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  5. "At least I didn't blog about it in the heat of the moment." That made me giggle LM:)

    I think having a little chat post-spanking would probably help. It really IS hard to think straight sometimes when they are smacking away! Glad you guys were finally able to reconnect and I hope he doesn't have any more work travel coming up anytime soon!

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    1. I hope he doesn't either. He was talking about maybe Dec/Jan having a week away. We will see. I can do a week but 2 is waaaaaay too long! Although, now that we are doing ttwd, I'm not sure I would be good with more than 12 hours. Hmph!

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  6. I totally know how you were feeling, needing, wanting, and not getting, feeling guilty for needing...
    I would say try not to get overwhelmed with organizing and just start somewhere and make sure you finish it before tackling the next one.

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    1. Julia, I totally have cleaning ADD. I'm so pathetic when it comes to that. I will get on it...eventually...maybe. ;)

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  7. YOu know how it sounds when you watch Charlie Brown on TV and the adults talk? That's pretty much what I hear when Blue talks during a spanking, lol! Glad Hubby is home and you guys are doing well. :)

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    1. Lol!!! I think I just kept saying "yes" and "I understand" over and over again between strangled screams/cries/gasps. WahwahwahWahh...Yep...that's about what he sounds like!

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  8. I have really good recall of what Ian says during spanking and lectures. I am not sure quite why.....but I usually remember conversations well. I have very poor skills in most other areas.....
    But, oh yeah - I would agree to almost anything during a spanking. I actually think that is an unfair time to elicit responses from me, because it is clearly under duress.
    I think talking afterward is a good idea......
    Nice post, Sweetie :)

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    1. Hi Lillie! I think I'm going to request post-spanking talks. I'm trying so hard not to scream during that I lose track of what's going on. It's amazing how 8 swats can completely destroy my thought process. Stupid hairbrush!

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  9. I had to think on this for a minute. Ward does lecture during a spanking, but if it is something that he wants an agreement on, or to ensure understanding, he stops and he either has a hand in my hair, on my back or my bottom rubbing.

    When the point has been made he resumes. I never really thought about that, but I guess now in the context of this conversation, that makes a whole lot of sense. Whaddaya know, he has a design...as if I should have doubted, lol.

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