Yesterday, I decided to test my rule about being to the office no later than 9:05 (8:30 is the goal).
What?!?! That's a brand spanking new rule. Why would you do that?
Well. Here's the thing. I don't know. I guess I wanted to test Hubby's resolve. I know. Bad idea. So why did I do it?
I had a lot of thoughts run through my head yesterday morning. "Would he do it? Would he really spank me?" "Really really?" "Would it be like previous corrective actions (prior to our ttwd restart)? A few measured out swats and that's it?" "Or it could be the worst spanking of your life!" "He probably won't do it." "He might..." I checked the implement drawer. Everything was in place. He hadn't taken the cane with him; the promised corrective action implement. "He's not gonna do it." Later I checked the video cameras we have set up at my business. He was there at my assistant's desk working. "He's not even in his office! I would've shown up and he wouldn't have been there. Well, screw him! He never had any intention of going through with it." "Do you really want to test this?" "Yes. Yes I do."
Thoughts continued to roll around inside my thick skull; my angel and devil duking it out on my shoulders. I checked the time. I had 10 minutes to get there. "Plenty of time if you leave now." "Does it even matter?" "You should try anyway" "No! I promised the MIL I would get her nails done today and I have to get them done early so I can pick up the kids. I'm gonna get my nail stuff together. He's not even gonna notice...big jerk head." I decided to go take care of my ticket from the collision I caused. Careless driving. $166 plus whatever the charge to get to take the class, which is a whole other charge. On the drive over, I got a little scared. "You should've at least stopped by. What if you get spanked really Really HARD?" "Nah. He's too busy to deal with me. He probably won't even remember. I think it's safe to say this rule is not getting enforced."
I got a phone call from Hubby at 10. I had just gotten back in the car from the courthouse. He asked where I was. I told him I was just leaving the courthouse. Technically, I lied. Yeah. You know that thing I said I wouldn't do? I actually had been in the parking lot for about 5 minutes playing Candy Crush (Stupid addictive game). Little, itty bitty, teensy weensy, inconsequential, LIE. "Why did you lie?" "I don't know...Shut Up!" I reminded him that i needed to take care of that ticket.
Hubby: Oh yeah. You had to get that done first thing this morning, right?
Me: Well, no...I coulda stopped by...Umm...yes. I had to get it done today.
Hubby: Could you pick me up an Amp on the way to the shop? I only had one cup of coffee and I'm dragging.
Me: Sure.
"I answered him. So what if it wasn't exactly accurate?" "Well now if your pants light on fire from that spanking your going to get for lying, don't blame me!" "Shut. Up!" Yes, I needed to get it done today. Yes, I could've checked into the office first as requested, and done so on time. But my little devil and I were too busy high-fiving to care and Hubby didn't seem to care either. "So there!" *Angel shakes head but gives up and walks away*
I expected at least a little warning about consequences to come. Maybe the tiniest hint? Nope. Nothing. Nada. Would he make me come home for a lunchtime correction? Not enough time to even have lunch together, let alone take care of business. Do I want a spanking? Well, not really. I would much rather be good for Hubby. But I just can't help but test him. At least until I know he will back it up with action. And by action, I mean, make me NEVER EVER want to disobey him again. I need those boundaries; that reassurance that he's paying attention. To know that he'll catch me when I fall and that he'll not let me get away with anything when I fail, especially when I'm testing him.
So there you have it. That's why I did what I did and didn't do what I was supposed to. So what happened? Well...
Hubby: Oh yeah. You had to get that done first thing this morning, right?
Me: Well, no...I coulda stopped by...Umm...yes. I had to get it done today.
Hubby: Could you pick me up an Amp on the way to the shop? I only had one cup of coffee and I'm dragging.
Me: Sure.
"I answered him. So what if it wasn't exactly accurate?" "Well now if your pants light on fire from that spanking your going to get for lying, don't blame me!" "Shut. Up!" Yes, I needed to get it done today. Yes, I could've checked into the office first as requested, and done so on time. But my little devil and I were too busy high-fiving to care and Hubby didn't seem to care either. "So there!" *Angel shakes head but gives up and walks away*
I expected at least a little warning about consequences to come. Maybe the tiniest hint? Nope. Nothing. Nada. Would he make me come home for a lunchtime correction? Not enough time to even have lunch together, let alone take care of business. Do I want a spanking? Well, not really. I would much rather be good for Hubby. But I just can't help but test him. At least until I know he will back it up with action. And by action, I mean, make me NEVER EVER want to disobey him again. I need those boundaries; that reassurance that he's paying attention. To know that he'll catch me when I fall and that he'll not let me get away with anything when I fail, especially when I'm testing him.
So there you have it. That's why I did what I did and didn't do what I was supposed to. So what happened? Well...
Nothing.
Not a word about it. We had a great, uneventful, quiet night. We made love and it was wonderful as always. But no follow-through.
This morning, I have a choice. I can be there as expected, or I can listen to that devil again and do my own thing. "Ugh! I hate these stupid choices." "Really you should try."
This morning, I have a choice. I can be there as expected, or I can listen to that devil again and do my own thing. "Ugh! I hate these stupid choices." "Really you should try."
Hubby: 8:30? (said with a hint of a warning as he was on his way to take the kids to school)
Me: (grumbling in the affirmative-maybe-unwilling-crankiness)
After he left, I got up and checked the implement drawer. Everything is still in place...
(((hugs)))
