In the middle of chatting with my dear friend Lillie, I realized that I am a woman of contradiction. How do I justify all this? How is it that I am so impatient with others and yet the biggest procrastinator to walk the planet? How is it that I want to control ttwd, and yet I am supposed to be the submissive partner in it? Well all of this has gotten me to thinking. Uht oh...
As my kids' martial arts coach is fond of saying, "Look it up in the dictionary!"
pa·tience [pey-shuhns] noun
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.
1. composure, stability, self-possession; submissiveness, sufferance. Patience endurance fortitude stoicism imply qualities of calmness, stability, and persistent courage in trying circumstances. Patience may denote calm, self-possessed, and unrepining bearing of pain, misfortune, annoyance, or delay; or painstaking and untiring industry or (less often) application in the doing of something: to bear afflictions with patience. Endurance denotes the ability to bear exertion, hardship, or suffering (without implication of moral qualities required or shown): Running in a marathon requires great endurance. Fortitude implies not only patience but courage and strength of character in the midst of pain, affliction, or hardship: to show fortitude in adversity. Stoicism is calm fortitude, with such repression of emotion as to seem almost like indifference to pleasure or pain: The American Indians were noted for stoicism under torture. 3. indefatigability, persistence, assiduity.
Without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation? Suppress restlessness or annoyance? Who exactly do they think I am? Superwoman?!?! Restlessness is the real big one for me here. I get so preoccupied and I spin myself in circles because, at that very moment, nothing and no one are as important as the situation at hand. I don't have any back burners. All of them are right up front. So what do I do? How do you learn patience without having to be subjected to something that would cause you impatience? If patience were a muscle, mine could barely lift a feather. Maybe I should think of it that way. Isn't the saying that you should "exercise patience?" Well that's no fun... And notice how submissiveness is mentioned in there too? And how many times is the word "pain" used? 4. Yep.
sub·mit [suhb-mit] verb, sub·mit·ted, sub·mit·ting.
verb (used with object)
1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.
3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually followed by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.
verb (used without object)
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.
1. comply, bow, obey, agree, resign. See yield.
Well I think we all know what "submit" means. We've all been though it. But I want your opinion on something. Here is an example of what I mean by trying to control the situation. Maybe you can tell me if I'm pushing things.
This morning, the stupid alarm went off and the designated time but we just did not want to get up. Hubby jokingly asked, "Why you gotta keep me up so late?" You see, last night we had a friend over and then after a drink too many, Hubby asked if I wanted to go watch a recorded show. I informed him that it was after midnight, so no, it's way too late. He came to bed. We played and experimented with something new. We passed out. And voilà! It was morning before we knew it. My response to his question? "You could always impose a curfew!" He didn't say anything and I didn't push it. But is suggesting rules considered trying to control ttwd?
I figure that you can't be truly submissive and have no voice. You may be able to learn patience, but at what point do you say something?
I guess I'm a lot like my son in that I gotta keep asking to clarify so that I know that Hubby knows that there is a specific question on the table that I am trying to get answered without being too controlling and impatient.
What do you do?