Talk 'n Tap

Talk 'n Tap...sounds like a fun game, right? Yeah...not so much. But it is great connection time.

Hubby and I have had a Sunday night ritual, or at least it's becoming that, where I lay on the bed bared to him and he slides up next to me. He starts rubbing my back and bottom and starts talking about whatever is on his mind. This week it was the church sermon we heard on Sunday. He asked questions. I answered if I could. He started hand-spanking and rubbing. It has become a very nice way of connecting and keeping my attention.

As we continue through the talk, implements, speed, and ferocity change. The dimensions of the "tap" portion vary with the "talk". It comes in waves, with each one being more intense than the last. It's an intimate connection that I couldn't quite name, so Hubby did. He calls it Talk 'n Tap, aptly initialized as TnT. Seems fitting.

I can only best describe it as something like a maintenance/role affirmation/connection/lecture/stress release spanking all rolled into one. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes he doesn't push it because that's not what his aim is. This week he didn't aim for tears, just understanding.Sometimes the way to this girl's heart is through my butt. Yeah..that doesn't sound exactly how I mean it...Umm...moving on...

This week's TnT session was about the messages that Hubby ascertained through this Sunday's sermon. The first gem he picked up on was Success is when Preparation meets Opportunity. Our problem has been in the preparation. He talked and spanked as he used his Navy experience as a metaphor for preparation to go on a 6 month cruise. The second gem was that Faithfulness leads to Fruitfulness. All of this applies to our home life, how we run our businesses, and our faith. It's amazing how a paddle can drive these points home.

We both come away from these sessions with new motivation to better our lives. He knows how to wield his words as well as any implement. He asks questions and expects answers. He talks with a stern tone when he gets to the heart of his lecture. Through his words and the pain inflicted, I find a release. My stress melts away. His voice is all that matters. He speaks into the depth of me and I am his and his alone. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. I want only to please him.

This can be a pretty intense session. I love it. I crave it. I need it. I seriously can't wait until Sunday!

Do you have a ritual?

(((hugs)))

A Good BAD Girl

I loves me some good girl spankins! I got one this morning so we could try out the new implements. Boy oh boy oh boy do they sting! Let me introduce you to them...

Meet my 5 fingered friend. It's leather and quite stingy. It's quite a bit wider than I thought, but that's okay. Since it's stiff still, the very ends make the most contact and it hurts like the dickens. Once it softens, I'm sure it will spread the sting more evenly. I look forward to that. I'm a big leather fan! It's very quiet compared to the leather paddle I have.

And then there is the EVIL wooden holey paddle. This little monster is probably going to replace the hairbrush for corrective actions. Hubby just barely let the paddle fall on my behind and it stung and made me jump. I'm sure he will want to play with it some more to see how much I can take. I like some wooden implement play, but this one is going to take some getting used to! It's much quieter than the hairbrush.

Of course I had to try out a cane. I must say that I'm not too thrilled with it. It doesn't sting so much as hurt like the dickens. I can't put it in the stingy or the thuddy category. It's different than that. I imagine that I could get used to it if we played with it in the right way, but I definitely don't want to use it for a corrective action. It also makes me glad I stayed away from anything like the Loopy Johnny! We will have to be careful with this one... Extremely quiet except for my squeals of fear.

So now you've met my new frienemies (btw I hate that term but I didn't know how else to describe them). We will see who I end up hating/loving. They are all very well made and I think they will last a very long time. Shipping was super fast! Visit Cane-iac for all your spanking needs. I know I will go back again! (No, I'm not a reviewer. I bought everything I got from their store. They don't even know I'm writing this.)

We now have a new problem though. We need a bigger box! It's full of goodies and the newest ones don't quite fit all the way in. I'm thinking a box with a lock on it would be good. Then we could keep it under the bed instead of trying to hide it in the closet. Anyone have any suggestions?

I do have to blame all of this on one lovely lady... Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts is such a great connector. I've gotten to read all kinds of blogs I never would've found and I definitely would not have met my new blogger bloomer friends. Plus, she added me when I was still fresh to this and I got so many readers that I definitely wouldn't have had. I love that you can see all the bloomers by type and it's all color coded and nifty. Definitely speaks to my need for organization. Super big ((((((hugs)))))) for Bonnie, you are one BAD girl! We appreciate you immensely!

Discount Spanking

I have always gotten off easy. Until now, all my spankings have been for the purposes of erotica/stress relief. We had a couple of trial "reminder" spankings that consisted of 3-4 swats each side and it was painful, but that's been it. It was then decided that this whole thing was a bit confusing. Both of us needed more definition regarding rules and guidelines. I outlined what I thought followed the general principles of ttwd (emphasis on "we"). It's more of a list of categories. I'm not posting it here, but you can leave your email in a comment or email me and I will send you what I wrote out.  Hubby was pretty happy with it and we agreed that it will work for us.

I had broken major rule on Friday. I lied about something. I'm not sure why I did it, but this has become a disturbing trend for me. Hubby found out about the lie yesterday. Nothing was said until I sent him the new rule setup and explained to him that I knew I had broken a big rule, so I suggested that if he wanted to, he could take care of the infraction later. But there was a problem. I had received some news about my brother that set me off in a panic. I ended up at my therapist's for an emergency session. Some things I can deal with. This was bad enough that it wrecked my world. Let's just say he's gonna need a really good lawyer.

Hubby didn't worry about taking care of the infraction, even though I offered myself. He said that he just wanted to hold me. Seriously I can hear y'all "Awwww!"-ing from here. Lol.

One of my rules is that I am to be ready to leave the house by 8 am. Whether we are meeting to work out together or I just have to go to work, I am to be wherever I'm supposed to be at a decent time. On days we don't work out, I have to be to work by 8:30.

This morning I didn't even get into the shower until 8. He came in and warned me that I was already getting spanked, how much was dependent on how late I was to work. Well, I was 5 minutes late. Add to that the infraction from Friday, and I was in deep doodoo.

But since this was my first technical punishment spanking corrective action, I was given a discounted spanking, as he called it. I would receive 60% off the morning lateness, but add in 20% for the extra 5 minutes I was late. Then I got 80% off the big infraction. In total, that's 5 swats each side. That 67% off the original total. Am I lucky or what?!?!

He knows he was easy on me. He said not to expect discounts every spanking. I think because this was the first official corrective action, he was reluctant. He doesn't want to punish me. He doesn't like doing it. But from what I've heard, it won't be long before he is punishing with gusto. I have read it several places that once he sees what it does for me, for us, and for our family, that he will be less reserved.

Is this your experience?

Gentle Reminder

Woah....So many things have changed since my last post on, what was it? Saturday? Goodness!

Hubby is home!!! He arrived early Sunday morning just after 1 am. We were up until 2, just holding and hugging and being glad to finally be home together. Sunday morning, I had to get up stupid early to sing at church. I got home at 12:30 just in time for Hubby to take the kids to the park so I could get a nap in. In my post nap blurriness, the rest of the afternoon flew by, not that there was much of it left.

Not much happened Sunday evening. I think we were too tired to do anything. This left me feeling that we weren't going to reconnect. And in my childish, impatient way, that meant it was NEVER going to happen. I'm such a baby sometimes! But I looked forward to Monday morning because I had set aside time for us to be together after the kids were at school. I figured that anything we were going to do to reconnect could be taken care of before 10 am. Hubby had other plans. He was still in work mode. Our time together was short and unfulfilled for me. He however had a good time.

Now, this is not to say that he is selfish, because he typically is not. And he noticed something wrong with me while I was getting ready for work, but I kept denying lying about it. He asked me one last time and in mid-lie I fessed up. I told him how I was feeling like we weren't reconnecting and I needed to feel that way so badly. I cried and he apologized. See? Really he is a very good guy. He said that even he sometimes needs a swift kick in the behind.

I went to a concert later that evening before it started I sent him an email telling him that I don't mean to step on his HoH toes, but I have needs and I need him to take care of them. One of those needs is to be corrected when I do something wrong. When he got home, I thought he would "correct" me for my wrongdoings while he was away. It's not that I was itching for a spanking, but I needed to know that he cared about me making the right decisions. Of course I would avoid a punishment spanking. But I'm submissive by nature. So I had the expectation that he would make things right when he got home. But he didn't.

When I got home from the concert, we had some amazing sex (sorry honey, love-making). It was new, exciting, and way yummy. But he didn't say anything about my email. Nothing was addressed. I felt like he was pretending it didn't exist. I was mad. We hadn't reconnected in the way that I needed. I was being childish and impatient and I knew it. But some things you just can't help, right? Oh whatever...At least I didn't blog about it in the heat of the moment.

Monday morning was met with an unscheduled meeting followed by a scheduled one. I didn't like either of them. I keep repeating in my mind that I am failing at this business thing. Now before any of you jump on my case, I have already been told several times by a fellow blogger that my words are powerful and need to watch what I say/write. I do not feel now like I'm a failure. But I did yesterday. I asked Hubby to take lunch with me so we can talk about it. I found talking to him helped a lot but I still had unresolved issues and he knew it.

He brought up the email. He said that he didn't want to "correct" me for those behaviors because of the time that had elapsed since then. He would rather be more immediate, or as much as circumstances afford at the time. I complete understood his point. But he did agree to help me relieve 2 weeks worth of stress plus a little motivation in the realms of communication and organization (my new best friend. Ha!). It was one whopper of a whoopin'. I was bright red and stingy and sore. But I was reconnected fully and lectured and motivated.

Not that any of that kept me from a "gentle reminder" later that evening. I wasn't listening exactly when Hubby was lecturing about organization. I heard the word but not the instructions. So later that evening when he asked me what I had organized, I looked at him and said "Huh?" Yeah, listening might be helpful if I want to avoid reminders.

Tonight I got another reminder...not so gentle, on the bare, with the evil hairbrush. I didn't get anything organized and it's completely my fault. I have terrible time management skills. Okay, I have none. It's going to get me into more trouble than I care to think about. You may have trouble with submitting? I have trouble with time management and organization (cleaning). We all have our weaknesses and our HoH's are more that willing to be all HoH-ey about it. Mine is wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He does listen to me and we do talk about everything and I trust him to do what is in my best interest. I hope you feel the same about yours. I believe that's what it's all about.

Now does anyone have any tips for remembering what I'm told during a spanking?